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 Ninja Story

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Posts : 5627
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Join date : 2010-07-14
Age : 88
Location : New York City

PostSubject: Ninja Story   Sun Jun 24, 2012 6:41 am

Found this story on reddit XD

Why are you best friends with your best friend?

Because he will speak up for me when I can't.
Halloween, 5 years ago. Jim and I go to the club dressed as ninjas. My ninja costume is authentic so I have no pockets and am covered everywhere except eyes. I am a silent killer. Give Jim keys to the apartment for safekeeping since I can't carry them. Meet up with other friends at the club.
While at the club I met a nice Hooters girl who was dressed as a nurse. Nurse struck up a conversation with me and I participated in said conversation by ninja gesturing. About 10 minutes later she asked me to accompany her home. I go with it but can't help notice that she must be completely hammered, especially given that I'm completely covered and haven't said a damn word to her. It was my ninja duty to safely escort her home, 10 blocks away, so I accompanied her by foot. Jim was left at club.
Nurse asked me into her apartment, but I decline as ninja senses pick up on the fact that she would freak out the next morning if she awoke next to a man who's face she literally had never seen before; also, ninja honor would not permit me to take advantage of her highly inebriated state. With a silent goodbye nod, I jump out her window into the night. I thanked the ninja gods for first floor windows.
Back to club, Jim has ninja vanished. Friend outside club is on his cell phone and he motioned me over with a pale look on his face. He places his phone on speaker and I hear a whisper: "I'm in some bushes." It's Jim.
Jim explained that he presumed I was sleeping over with Ms. Nurse and proceeded home when he was lightly rear-ended by a drunk driver, which didn't result in any damage. However, other driver was completely drunk, muscle-bound, and violent. The other driver got out his car and began to scream at Jim in a drunken haze. Said driver happened to bring with him a baseball bat and chased after Jim. Jim fled and was hiding in bushes as the drunken maniac was stumbling around trying to find him.
I bolted out of the bar towards Jim's location, ninja running half a mile to get there. I arrived there a few minutes later and see the cars pulled to the side of the road and see that drunk guy has spotted Jim, who has now ninja climbed into a tree. The drunk was hitting the tree with his baseball bat, screaming for Jim to come face him. I run up to the drunk and jump on him from behind and apply a ninja choke. Jim sees this as his cue to ninja descend from tree and grab the baseball bat. Slowly, the drunk began to pass out. Then the cops arrived.
The cops saw two men dressed as ninjas, one with a baseball bat in his hand, the other choking out some poor man. Weapons were instantly drawn. Jim dropped the bat, all parties were handcuffed and separated. After about 30 minutes of speaking to Jim, cops figured out what happened and arrested the drunk guy for DUI and attempted battery. We're free to go.
Hopped in Jim's car, drove home and when we arrive at the door, find that Jim has lost my keys. He realized that he must have lost them in the bushes or tree so we drove back. Keep in mind, the area was located behind a shopping center. By that time, it was 4am, no moon in the sky, all businesses were closed, pitch black night. We used Jim's cell phone as a light source, scouring the grass for a sign of my keys. Suddenly new cops appeared, responding to reports of two burglars dressed in black, attempting to burglar aforementioned shopping center. We were in handcuffs. Again. Five minutes later the backup squad car shows up, containing the same officers from the first incident. They recognized us and Jim stammered out the situation. Laughs were had, police assisted with finding our keys, and we were ultimately successful and returned home, 6 am.
The entire night I had not uttered one word. Ninjas are silent. Jim did all the talking and spoke for me when I didn't. That's why he's my best friend.
tl;dr: Ninjas.

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PostSubject: Re: Ninja Story   Sun Jun 24, 2012 6:51 am

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